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Flamingos and Gnomes

Observations from the Queendom Flamingos and gnomes, oh, My!

The thing is I can’t be normal. I mean, really, why would you want to be? Normal is a dryer setting. But I guess what I’m trying to say is I find it nearly impossible to have the same reaction as pretty much nearly everyone else. In my younger days, this was traumatizing. Now, I celebrate it. But it’s also a reason I don’t get much done some days. Last Sunday, I decided to get some long-overdue yard work done. I decided to weed the herb garden. First, I swear to you I got “high” between the tarragon and oregano. So, obviously, I had to stop for snacks. Then, I decided I needed more whimsy in my yard. I’ve been thinking this for a while, so I’ve been collecting cool stuff to plant in the flower beds. Since I was missing my oldest child who has moved away to go to college, I opted for some collegiate themed whimsy. I suppose most people would just put the stuff in their yard and then finish pulling the weeds or whatever. This is not what happens in Karmalot. First, I planted my alma mater University of Idaho flamingos. One is gold and one is black. And this is where my head goes; if I plant the black and gold flamingos in the herb garden will that bother the pink flamingos I have in the other bed? Is there a race war between plastic flamingos? Are the pink flamingos suspicious of the new birds from the north? I should orchestrate a meeting between the two groups, I think. Then I think it might be more fun if there were enemies for a while. Then I could have the garden fairies orchestrate a peace accord. I think other people don’t do this. Do other people have narratives running in their heads all the time? This why the Queendom is a happy place. It attracts the people like me. I finally convinced myself to just let the flamingos all co-exist but just be suspicious of each other until I decided how the flamingo story line was going to play out. I also had a Washington State University gnome that needed installed in the garden. I have been wanting more gnomes, but I want to paint my own gnomes. The Queendom can’t have gnomes like other yards. You know, the ones with blue jackets and red hats. That would be soooooo borrrrrrring. We don’t do boring here. I haven’t had a chance to get into the pottery shop to paint gnomes appropriate for Karmalot, so we’re lacking in the gnome department. However, I did find a cute little WSU gnome while shopping for my daughter’s dorm room last weekend. She’s a freshman at WSU and my husband is a graduate. School spirit is important. Now here’s where my head gets lost again. Since University of Idaho and Washington State are only eight miles away from each in real life, should the gnome and the flamingos live in the same flower bed? Or, should I create an alternate reality? Does my gnome have a name? Will he be lonely until I paint some more gnomes? I decided to plant him underneath the bee and lemon balms. He’s hidden in a canopy there and can observe the goings on of the yard without being noticed. I think that’s where he is now. Just hangin’ out and watching. The flamingos are sneaky critters. The pink ones party a lot. You just have to pay attention. The bonus is, they listen to a lot of Jimmy Buffet and always have a pitcher of mojitios. I named the WSU gnome Floyd, after Elson Floyd the late president of WSU who brought a great spirit of community to the campus. I think that’s what my Floyd will do here in my Queendom. It occurs to me there are not enough fairy gardens and fairy doors in my yard. Better get on that. Cheers from the Queendom…..

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